Telephonic introversion

If you’re an extreme introvert like me, a phone call isn’t always just a phone call. In fact, getting one can be as stress-inducing as having your door kicked in on a lazy Sunday afternoon.

Like many introverts, it took me most of my life to accept who I am. Society can seem packed with extroverted personalities who make us feel like oddballs – often without even meaning to. That's faded over the years. It’s not a rule, but generally the older one gets, the less concerned one is about fitting in – which means a greater willingness to accept yourself for who you are.

The phone is the epic pinnacle of extrovert society. It’s a device that can reach into your home at any time, demanding your attention and most often getting it. Through this channel, friends, casual acquaintances, strangers and even solicitors can enter your social bubble and use up some of your own precious time.

Perhaps for people with extroverted tendencies, a ringing phone is a happy thing. Something that makes one perk up in anticipation. I wouldn’t know. I’m an introvert, and for me it has always sounded more like a dog whistle.

As big a part as the phone is in American society, I can’t wait for it to be dead and buried. It’s the worst of all worlds for an introvert. It’s not just that it can demand one’s attention at any time - a lot of things in our society do that.

No, the phone is far more insidious than that. It forces a person to communicate by voice, in real-time, with all the drawbacks and perils of a direct conversation. But at the same time, it takes away all of the body language and many of the social cues that us introverts need to not make an ass of ourselves in front of others.  

And many people think nothing of picking up the phone and talking for an hour or more. I can’t count the number of times that I’ve collapsed in mental exhaustion on the couch after an hour-long phone call with a more extroverted friend or family member.

I lived through the tail end of the telephone’s golden age and was happy to say goodbye to it. In this day of e-mail and texts, I can conduct 95 percent of my personal and business affairs – the non-face to face interactions – by other means. I have a Samsung Galaxy S4 that I use for everything you can imagine - except to call people. My calling plan is secondary at best. The only time I use the ‘phone feature’ is when I have no choice but to call someone – or when someone calls me.

If we’re lucky – and by we, I mean introverts - in a few more years phone calls will be as rare as handwritten letters are today.